[mood| lethargic]


I apologize for being waaay too lazy to update. hopefully i can grab a digital camera soon and post the pictures of my newest tattoo! *le sigh* so terribly tired...

[mood| scared]


So beautiful you are
As you drift, dying,
Down the dark stream.
With your lifeless eyes half-closed
And your flawless porcelain skin
Cold, glowing.


Tiny flowers tange
In your auburn hair,
Gather around your open hands
Floating on the water,
Hands awaiting to accept
Lace covered dreams,
Infinite and eternal.


You are a fragile china doll,
Lost in this abrasive world.
Or a faerie who lost her wings
In a battle with the sky.


"Please tell me, my dear,
Please tell me your story."
I whisper to her,
Gazing into her emotionless face,
Not a trace of anguish or pain
Crosses it.


Her hands float motionless
Open, on the water,
Awaiting for Death to take them
In his own,
And deliver her
From her broken heart.


Author: The Broken Princess
FictionPress

I just got an amazing fucking tattoo!!! I'll talk more later but I have to eat and then get ready to call in and see if they need me to work. But it's so fucking nice!

To Bid You Farewell
-----------------------
I am awaiting the sunrise
Gazing modestly through the coldest morning
Once it came you lied
Embracing us over autumn's proud treetops

I stand motionless
In a parade of falling rain
Your voice I cannot hear
As I am falling again

Devotion eludes
And in sadness I lumber
In my own ashes I am standing without a soul
She wept and whispered: "I know..."

We walked into the night
Am I to bid you farewell?

Why can't you see that I try
When every tear I shed
Is for you?


The Apostle In Triumph
--------------------
In solitude I wander....
Through the vast enchanted forest
The surrounding skies are one
Torn apart by the phenomenon of lightning
Rain is pouring down my (now) shivering shoulders
In the rain my tears are forever lost

[mood| excited]

I'm getting my tattoo tomorrow, I'm very excited, but also stressed out because I have a very busy day. I hate being busy because I get so fucking stressed, just at the thought. But so excited about the tattoo!!! ...and shit, I forgot to get Theo to take my paycheck to the credit union...

[mood| envious]


Hypnotize is a fucking great album everyone. I like it much better than Mezmerize because all the songs are gold. And it doesn't have two shitty songs about old school hollywood. All the songs are good. I really like the second song, it has some good harmonizing chaos, of course you don't understand what that means, but it's the only way I could describe it. And alot of the songs are about war and propoganda. There's also a song about banana, banana, banana, terracota pie called 'Viscinity of Obscinity' which is going to be alot of people's favorite song. Why do I suppose that you ask? Because Theo and the guitarist from SOAD both say it's their favorite, and I like it too.

Moments ago I was abominably horrified as the final melodies of Thirteenth Step culminated, and suddenly I was baraged by the most horrid shrieking sound of assimilated conformity that has become Shania Twain. I was immediately rendered into a state of disoriented intoxication, genuinely believing for a moment that, what can only be described as some ghastly, dreadfully alarming banter was eminating from my own stereo! I reeled about upon my bed for an amount of time inconcievable to a mind submitted to that level of trauma, so utterly confused and unable to grasp the gravity of the circumstance. I was literally, physically stunned and unable to arise, practically paralyzed all I could do was writhe in tremendous mental anguish upon my mattress. Without warning the inscrutably barbaric brainwashing lulled and vaguely I could make out Alex and Aaron bellowing for Sarah to turn that shit off, and in those most crucial moments I amassed enough strength to put SOAD in, and therefore stave off the lyrical attrocities of Swollen Member echoing through the hall until rendered obsolete by the liberation of Hypnotize. And there I sat recovering the life force drained from my being in those most agonizing moments.

[mood| aggravated]


I fucking hate it when my mom gets so fucking drunk and decides to have important conversations. Today she decided to call Theo's parents and have one about his grades, then drag me into it like it's my fault, totally changing the subject from grades to me. Then she gets all mad at me and starts calling me a child and needy etc. I didn't want to talk to her, I hate talking to her when she's drunk. I fucking hate it. And apparently I'm not being 'supportive' to Theo, and everythings my fault. This is just great. I come home to this right after crying the whole way back from Theo's house because Theo's parents hate me. I can barely be at his house, I'm uncomfortable the whole time, and when his parents talk and ask questions everyone just sits there, and it's always up to me to make decisions.

I'm finally done searching and creating the perfect layout for my journal (for now). It took awhile because of the consistancy of our computer problems, but it's complete for the time being.

Your Eyes Should Be Green

Your eyes reflect: Striking attractiveness and danger What's hidden behind your eyes: A vivid inner world

sorry for giving you all these non complete journals to look at, i'm trying to find a new layout i like, when i don't exactly have enough time to be doing so.

[mood| nervous]

pull taught the strings, placing together the pieces
of this broken heart; scarred and black
withering as your caring touch pulled away
frigid from the sudden chill; like porcelain
shattering upon the floor, falling from your warm hands
in the darkness shards slice and needle bites
my hands and wrists; carefully and methodically
scraping together fragments, crudely sewing with the chords
the broken heart; wiping blood and sweat from mud
day and night untill it's done, and maybe, just maybe
you'll love it once again.

[mood| blank]

The night opens her lap
The child's name is loneliness
It is cold and motionless
I cry softly into time
I don't know what your name is
But I know that you exist
I know that sometime
someone will love me

He comes to me every night
No words are left to say
With his hands around my neck
I close my eyes and pass away

I don't know who he is
In my dreams he does exist
His passion is a kiss
And I can not resist

I wait here
Don't die before I do
I wait here
Don't die before I do

I don't know who you are
I know that you exist
Don't die
Sometimes love seems so far
I wait here
Your love I can't dismiss
I wait here

All the houses are covered in snow
And candle light in the windows
They lie there together
And I
I only wait for you

Don't die before I do

~rammstein~

[mood| depressed]

Disdain melts like a flake of fresh fallen snow upon my lips - ignighting flames of remorse beneath my skin. old fires burn inside once again and icy tears flow from cold dead eyes - acrid like salt, festering in the torrid wounds left by your lascivious tongue...Yet the cold blade still warms my skin with its sultry kiss.

[mood| mischievous]

Follow me into the darkness, and I'll show you all of my secrets...

[mood| surprised]

Holy Crap it's Winter! After work I had to dig my car out from under a fucking foot of snow, all the while fearing that I would be mugged or raped. And work was so dead, and we were going to be allowed to close at 9h30, until some stupid rush of large parties showed up and we had to stay open until frickin' 12!

Yep. On sunday a large sharp shard of glass stabbed me under my fingernail, and I forgot to tell anybody. So don't let it happen to you!

In other news...A few weeks ago M. Friesen was leaving the bar and realized he was too intoxicated to drive himself home, so after a short deliberation he decided to sleep in his car. In the midst of the night, at around 3 o'clock am, after tossing and turning in the cold vehicle he decided to turn it on and let the heat warm him for a short time. He turned the car on, leaving it in park of course and let the vehicle fill with warm air. Suddenly and unsuspectingly he passed out. The dead weight of his foot in his intoxicated slumber gently pressed the excellerator gracefully down to the floor. The engine then revved for three hourse until the police came an woke him up. M. Friesen no longer has a car. Don't let that happen to you. Especially you M. Froese, I can see that happening to you.

i'm sorry i've been too boring to update recently!

[mood| awake]

I went back to work today and everything went pretty good, except my heart was working so fast I was seriously afraid I might have a heart attack or something. I wasn't nervous or anything, even when I wasn't doing much work it was just going nuts, and I'm still sort of afraid. But after work I actually went out to the pub with the girls, I had to say yes because it was Chanti's birthday and she's one of my best work-coworkers. I know I should probably go to bed, but I really want to play KoToR...I'm addicted. Back into videogames just like I used to be, and Theo's never been so happy. Oops, theo I have to work Sunday during the day! So I can't come over Saturday after work anymore. I'm saying it here, because I'm sure I won't remember to tell you. Well...I'm going to play some videogames now.